well I can't set my house on fire every night
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize