that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
