But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
