My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
