I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
