Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
