I wannas sexs uuuuu
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
