Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
