Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Come on in and take your pants off
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