The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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