the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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