ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
