she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
