My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
