My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
