is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
