You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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