Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize