The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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