I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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