So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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