We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
