First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
