I feel like abortions should bother me more
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
