Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
