If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize