My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My vagina is very pro this idea
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
