McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
