It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
