so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
