He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
