The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
