so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
