He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize