Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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