Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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