Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
