god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I met the friendliest cop last night
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
