Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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