So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
