so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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