There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
