I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
