I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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