he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
