What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
