Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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