There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
whose parrot is this?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize