Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
