I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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