how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
