i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
