She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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