i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
