a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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