that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
