why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
