why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
