You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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