The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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