that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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