FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
