That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
